/// INTRODUCING THE FUTURE OF AUTOMOTIVE CLEANLINESS, CIRCA 1987
WASH-O-
MATIC 3000
THE WORLD'S MOST UNNECESSARILY COMPLICATED CAR WASH SIMULATOR.
Built by detailers. Not approved by engineers.
⚠ AUTOMATED VEHICLE RECONDITIONING SYSTEMMODEL W-3000 / CERTIFICATION PENDING
01 / PRE-SOAK
02 / SCRUB
03 / SHINE
CONVEYOR: STANDBYPRESSURE: PROBABLY FINESOAP: YES
01 / SELECT VEHICLE CONDITION
SYSTEM READY. NO REFUNDS. NO EXPLANATIONS.
02 / ACTIVATE THE MACHINE
AWAITING QUESTIONABLE DECISIONS...
✓ DIAGNOSTIC REPORT / PRINTED ON IMAGINARY PAPER
WASH COMPLETE
IMPORTANT: This is a silly animation, not an actual assessment or price quote. Your vehicle remains exactly as dirty as before.
ACTUAL HUMAN SERVICES
REAL DETAILING. NO ROBOTS.
Underneath the industrial nonsense, Cann's Auto Spa is a real automotive detailing business serving the Halifax area.
Exterior Detailfrom $99
Interior Detailfrom $149
Full Detailfrom $229
Wash & Waxfrom $139
Paint Decontaminationfrom $60
Starting prices in CAD; final pricing depends on vehicle condition and service scope. Applicable tax extra.
OPERATING MANUAL / PAGE 404
IS THIS A REAL BUSINESS?
YES. The car wash machine is fake. The detailing is real. The questionable sense of humour is unfortunately permanent.
For serious information, genuine work photos, and the complete service menu, visit the actual Cann's Auto Spa website.
⚠ WARNING: MAY CAUSE NOSTALGIA, CONFUSION, OR THE UNREASONABLE EXPECTATION THAT YOUR CAR WILL CLEAN ITSELF.